Navigating Burnout: When Creativity Returns

Navigating burnout continues to be a focal point in my personal life. Setting boundaries has proven to be challenging despite my best efforts, but I’m doing what I can. I was doing well in the first few weeks after returning from Grand Turk, but reinforcing those boundaries has involved digging my heels in and committing to saying “no” when my instinct is to say “yes,” just to make someone happy or live up to (often self-imposed) expectations. Still, I’m trying. I’m doing all I can to push back, to make space, to prioritize my well-being. 

One of the things that has really sucked about navigating professional burnout is the way it has dulled my personal creativity. The desire to write and create has been there, but the will to do it has felt dampened, likely due to the exhaustion I’ve felt when I finally come home for the day. I’ve felt like I was pushing against a wall, trying to find my spark again, seeing said spark, but it not quite catching flame. 

Last week, I had a breakthrough. 

I’ve had an idea for a story nagging at me for a few weeks. Like most of my book ideas, it came to me as a “What if?” idea. I have a lot of these “What if?” ideas, but I only pursue the ones that won’t leave me alone. This one wouldn’t leave me alone. Last weekend, I made it a goal to write 500 new words, be it for this story or one of my Political Gain bonus chapters. Just 500 words between Friday night and Sunday night, when I’m very capable of writing a few thousand in any one setting.

I wrote 2,100 on this new story.

2,100 emotional new words.  

Those words belong to a poignant opening scene. It’s heavy, packs a punch like nothing I’ve written before. I shed a lot of tears while writing it. While the scene is emotional, I think there was also a release of gratitude that I was able to create again fueling my tears. It felt incredible to bang out those words, to let them pour out of me, to enter that flow state of writing again. 

To be clear, writing has never been the cause of my burnout. Writing has been my sanctuary, my safe place. That’s why not being able to get the words out during the height of my burnout has been so hard. I need to write. It’s a core part of who I am, and for a while, it has felt like it has been taken away from me. 

I’ve added another 6,000 or so words to that WIP this week. I have no idea when it will see the light of day or even if it will see the light of day. I just know that it’s a story I can’t stop thinking about, and the characters have done that thing where they become fully formed people in my head that sit down and dictate what I write about them. It’s usually a very good sign when the characters become that real to me. I’m excited to see how their story unfolds.  

I’m back to editing Strictly Business, too. Pushing pause on releasing that book was the right move in every way. It never felt quite right, and as I work through it now, I see the places it needs a little extra attention. It’s a much better story now, and while it may be a bit longer until it goes out into the world, I’m going to be proud of what I put out there when it does arrive in your hands. I’ve also had to turn off the little voice in my head that tells me I need to release books faster, like some of these “big” indie authors do. I’ve also had to remind myself it is okay to slow down. If I’d stuck to my rather aggressive publishing schedule I outlined at the beginning of the year, I’d have two books out already. 

That is laughable. 

I don’t know what I was thinking with that plan, but I also didn’t foresee just how hard this year would be at my “real” job. I don’t know that folks online always understand that many authors have full-time jobs to support themselves while also writing books. I’m hopeful that I will one day (hopefully soon) get to write full-time, but that time isn’t now. Candidly, I made a whopping ten whole dollars last month from my writing, and ten dollars hardly buys eggs in the U.S., let alone pays my rent. Right now, I have to balance both a demanding full-time job and a writing career. It feels a lot like I’m having to navigate what I call the “messy middle.” The good thing about the messy middle, though, is that there is always the other side of it. I think, maybe, I’m creeping towards that other side. 

Burnout doesn’t go away overnight. I continue to actively work to make the adjustments needed to get back to a healthy place. It’s slow going. I’m someone who likes to go fast. I like to fix the thing and move on. Burnout hasn’t been a quick fix. It won’t be a fast fix. It’s going to take some time to get through it. 

But being able to write again? 

That has felt really, really good. 

I’ll take it.

For now.