Taking A Break Was Worth It

There is something to be said for taking a break. 

I’m a high-output person. I like checking off boxes, getting things done. I like seeing the fruits of my labor, like people knowing I can get the job done. Every personality test I’ve ever taken has categorized me as a doer, goal-oriented, ambitious. I like to say I’m the “threeest three that ever did three” when it comes to the enneagram. A typical day for me goes a lot like this: 

• Teach 1-2 Pure Barre classes before 7:00am; on the days I don’t teach, I still wake up as though I were so I can have time to journal and have some quiet time 
• Spend 8-10 hours at my “real,” often demanding, job as a marketing director 
• Teach or take a Pure Barre class after work, depending on the day 
• Head home where I spend time with my dogs, eat my dinner, and try to cram the hours and hours of writing and reading I want to do into just two or three. Which means I stay up way too late for someone who wakes up between 5:00 AM – 6:00 AM every day.

Somewhere in there I’m also trying to date, be a good daughter, sister, and friend, and prioritize self-care. As you can probably guess, the “self” is usually the first thing to go out the window. Weekends are spent running errands, hanging out with friends, catching up on chores, and writing, editing, and reading as much as I can. 

If it sounds like a lot, it’s because it is. I’m often asked how I do it. How do I balance it all? In truth, I just do. I’m built in a way that needs to be busy. I once had someone read my birth chart, and she kept commenting about how much fire I have in me – my sun, rising sun, and moon are all fire signs (Aries, Sagittarius, and Aries, respectfully). While I’m not sure how much I believe in astrology, she made some good points. I have a lot of energy, and that energy has to be expended. Otherwise, I’m a mess. 

All this to say, taking a break is hard for me. 

This past week, I took a break. 

I didn’t mean to. I had a trip to Los Angeles for my brother’s wedding planned and the week before I left was spent preparing to be out of my office for five days, a classic get two weeks of work done in one situation. There wasn’t a lot of time for writing or reading. I caught myself staying up too late and yet getting nothing outside of work done. Lots of sitting on the couch and staring off into space. In hindsight, sitting on my couch, scrolling for hours, was a major red flag for me, but I was too in it to realize it at the time. When I’m aimless, I’m not in my healthiest headspace. I was very much aimless for a few weeks leading up to Los Angeles.

Speaking of L.A…

My flight was at 5:10 AM on Thursday. The sensible thing to do was go to bed early on Wednesday night. Instead, I procrastinated on packing and preparing the dogs for the pet sitter, then stayed up until 1:30 AM finishing Heir of Fire. I woke up an hour and a half later and headed to the airport with both my personal laptop and my work laptop in my bag, and every intention of writing and editing while I was out west. 

I wrote exactly one sentence. 

One. 

I had my work laptop open for less than fifteen minutes the entire five days and never cracked open my personal laptop. I read a whole book and started another. I spent hours upon hours with my family, some of whom I hadn’t seen in years. We ate amazing meals, walked on the beach, visited some of my old haunts from when I lived in Los Angeles. I even got to teach a couple of classes at my old studio. I got tipsy on whiskey and cosmos, pretended like I don’t have Celiac Disease to eat all the gluten, and saw some beautiful sunsets. 

I wrote exactly one sentence. 

I did not reply to a single email. Not one. 

It was glorious. 

I had no idea how badly I needed a break until I was taking a break. The five days I spent unplugged recharged my deepest soul. I slept more, stressed less. I got to hit the metaphorical reset button. 

Sure, there were things that didn’t get done. I haven’t posted an update of my Out of the Ashes fanfiction in a couple of weeks now, when I usually post every Monday. I’m behind in editing both the novel and novella I plan to release before the end of the year. I fell behind in getting my weekly newsletter out, and I haven’t posted much on social media, an absolute “no-no” if you ask “the professionals” who insist authors need to post and promote their work every single day.  The sheer volume of emails waiting for me when I returned to my office made me want to shut down my laptop and walk right back out. Even Pure Barre kicked.my.booty. more so than usual my first day back.

It was worth it. 

Taking a break was worth it. 

My time away from my laptop reset something in me. It allowed me the chance to step back up to the plate with a clean slate and a refilled well of not just creativity but the desire to be creative. Taking a break wasn’t planned, at least not as completely as I did it, but I needed it. I had no idea how much I needed it until I was in the midst of it. 

You know what? 

Out of the Ashes is still there. So are the edits on my novel and novella. The romantsy I’m writing is still waiting for the next words and Instagram didn’t go anywhere. My inbox certainly didn’t go anywhere. Now I’m back in business, back to checking off boxes and getting ish done. I have a clear head and an even better mindset. I’m in a good place, and had no idea just how burned out I was until I had time away.

Take a break, my friend. 

We’re pushed to go, go, go. We glorify being busy.

I personally love to go. 

But then I found myself taking a break. 

And it was worth it.