Cardinals and Mammograms

I had to get a diagnostic mammogram and breast ultrasound recently. I have fibrocystic breasts that are, in turn, full of fibroglandular tissue, so things get lumpy and painful. While the pain and swelling is usually cyclical, that’s not always the case for me. Sometimes it lasts a while and whenever that happens, I get checked out. With a new doctor and a new state, she felt the best option was a new round of imaging, particularly as I had a swollen lymph node under the arm. 

“I’m almost certain this is nothing,” she said as she entered the order. “But I can’t see through the skin, can I? I’d like to establish an updated baseline.” 

My health anxiety had already shown up with overnight bags packed ahead of that doctor’s visit – that swollen lymph node was painful, my whole underarm area swollen and Dr. Google had some scary things to say about it – and when she determined that I needed additional imaging? Well, health anxiety wasn’t going anywhere for a while. 

Except – there were cardinals. 

I often pray for tangible signs of God’s presence. Sometimes I let Him dictate how He shows up. Other times I’m specific in my request. This time, I asked for cardinals and turtles – animals that have a great deal of meaning in my family and to me – if all was going to be well. 

The morning of my doctor’s appointment, I taught an early morning Pure Barre class, then headed straight to my doctor’s office. I prayed all the way there, asking God for answers to my concerns and for all to be well, to please send me a cardinal if all was going to be well. I checked in, waited for a few minutes, and then was called back. When my doctor entered the room, my jaw hit the ground. There, on her name badge, was a rhinestone-encrusted cardinal. 

Well then. 

I left feeling a sense of peace. There was still an undercurrent of worry, but that cardinal told me things were going to be okay. What are the odds that I would spend the better part of an hour praying for a cardinal, only to have my doctor, a woman I had never met before, walk in wearing one? Some things are not a coincidence, my friends. 

I wish I could say that cardinal served as the only tangible sign of peace I needed, but health anxiety is a real bear and wouldn’t go down quietly. Some days – most days, even – I was sure I was just fine. Other days, I was sure I was going to be told the worst. I kept turning to prayer, kept asking for cardinals and turtles. I saw one or the other most days and each time, a little more peace took up ground within my anxious heart. 

It was raining the morning of my mammogram and ultrasound and I had an eight o’clock meeting. I made sure to get up early enough to be able to read my Bible and pray. I asked for another cardinal ahead of my appointment. I told God I really needed a tangible sign that He was with me and that all would be well. Then I got ready for the day – minus any deodorant, lotion, or perfume because those aren’t allowed for mammograms or breast ultrasounds – rushed to the office, logged onto my computer, and held my meeting. Once it wrapped, I stepped out of my office to say good morning to my coworker. I noticed something bright red out in the far corner of the parking lot. I wandered to the window and sure enough, there was a cardinal. 

I smiled. 

God was with me. 

I kept the nerves at bay for the most part, knocked out my to-dos for the day. When it was time to leave for my scans, I couldn’t help but smile again. There was a cardinal sitting on the fence that lines my office parking lot. 

I felt pretty confident by the time I made it to the imaging center. The cardinals had done their part, but the swelling in my armpit was gone and the pain had all but disappeared by scan day, all good signs, too. The mammogram was first and while it wasn’t the most comfortable thing I’ve ever done, it wasn’t awful. My tech was wonderful and reassured me things would be okay – no matter the outcome. 

Then it was time for my ultrasound. 

The ultrasound tech, too, was a sweetheart. She let me know as she scanned me that ‘unofficially,’ all was well. Except I already knew that. 

Because there, on the wall directly in front of me, was a collection of cards.

One of them had a cardinal on it. 

A cardinal in the ultrasound room. 

You truly can’t make that up. 

I was, in fact, fine, just as my doctor had predicted and my ultrasound tech had unofficially told me. It was dense breast tissue and hormones, the usual suspects, and nothing of concern. I have a new baseline now, and the all clear to wait until routine screenings begin at forty unless I have further changes or symptoms. My relief was palpable and I praised God the moment I got in my car. I thanked Him for my health – and the cardinals. 

I know some folks will say “that was just a series of coincidences.” I know better though. I know those cardinals, especially the ones in my doctor’s office and ultrasound room, came from God. They told me “hey, it’s going to be just fine.” 

God knows what we need. He knows how to communicate with us. He knows what we need, when we need it. If we trust Him, he will deliver. 

I’m grateful for benign results, for good health. 

I’m grateful for a God who sends me cardinals. 

Amen.