It’s forecasted to reach 90 degrees in Chapel Hill today, 95 by Friday, but the calendar says it’s October and that it has been fall for a couple of weeks now. Maybe soon I’ll be able to wear the cute new fall clothes I bought from Vici last week, but for now, I’m still in my summer wardrobe. So it goes during fall in the south.
October has always been my favorite month. I love the shift of seasons, from summer to fall (temperature notwithstanding). I love how the brights of summer fade to the oranges and rusts of fall and the store shelves fill with pumpkin this and apple that. I really love that still elusive crispness in the air early in the mornings, and the faint smell of fireplace smoke that catches on the wind from time to time when the evening temperatures dip quite low as fall turns into winter..
October 1 also marks the fact that here are 90 days left in the year.
That’s all that’s left of 2019.
It’s always been 90 days left of the year on October 1, but this is the first year that I’ve sat back and really recognized the fact that I’ve got 90 days left in the year.
2019 has been a weird year.
It started out strong, with lots of promise. My mom’s medical issues seemed behind her, the studio was going well, and I was really finding my groove in Chapel Hill after ten months of calling it “home.”
Then, March rolled around. My mom went back into the hospital and never came out of it. She died four days after I turned 33. The decision was made to close the studio in July (I’ll share more on the why someday, but know it wasn’t from a place of failure), and somewhere along that time, my own dreams and visions for my life shifted tremendously.
When I look back on the summer of 2019, I’ll think of it as “the summer of the shift.” There’s been a lot of praying, a lot of reflection, a lot of putting pen to paper and allowing myself to trust where I’m being called, a place I would have never seen myself even six months ago.
God really does speak quite loudly, if you’re willing to hear Him. He doesn’t exactly give all the details, but He does speak and right now, He’s encouraging me to let go of the monkey bar I’ve been holding onto with two hands and reach for the next one, even though I can’t exactly see what I’m grabbing for next.
I don’t believe in sitting around and waiting to make a change. I like a good New Year’s resolution as much as the next person, but why wait three months to change something? It’s that whole watching the wind thing I walked about in my last post.
And so, here we are with 90 days left of 2019..
I could sit on my hands and wait around for a new year, call it a clean slate, and go into action then.
I could walk into 2020 in a different place than I am now. I can use these last 90 days to push closer to my goals. I can spend more time writing and less time with Netflix. I can pursue action instead of writing down things I want to do. I can post the things on Instagram instead of wasting time wondering “what will people think?”
You get the idea.
I’ve got 90 days to finish 2019 strong and start 2020 ahead of where I’ll be if I don’t take action now.
Frankly? The idea of starting 2020 exactly where I am now is not the look I’m going for.
So, you’ve got 90 days.
How are you finishing 2019?