“What is my purpose?”
I have been praying about this a lot lately. I’ve been journaling on it and asking for signs and searching for what on earth I’m supposed to be doing with my life. I keep getting the same answer:
That’s a pretty big purpose, all things considered. I have the gift of words and I know I’m supposed to use it. But am I supposed to write manuscripts? Develop television shows? Interview inspirational people? Share my own story?
Honestly, I think it is all the above. Which is a tall order, but it’s what I feel called to do – to tell stories in every way they come to me. Real stories. Fictional stories. Visual stories. Audio stories. Written stories. Continuing to be honest here, I’m still working out the how and even the where. What I thought I wanted a year ago – what I thought my purpose, which has always been to tell stories, looked like a year ago – has changed. So even though I know what my purpose is, I’m still asking:
“What is my purpose?”
You might be asking yourself that same question.
You might go to bed each night and hope it comes to you in a dream. Maybe you pray about it. Maybe you meditate on it. Maybe you take long walks and ponder it. Maybe it floats across your mind while you’re in the middle of a work project or halfway through a workout. Maybe it’s the topic dejour of your journal entries or of conversations with your friends. You’re searching and searching and nothing is coming to you.
Are you being still enough to hear?
Are you giving God the space to speak?
I struggle with this. I’m not a calm person. I’m an enneagram three. I function at 110% all the time (until I crash and burn, but we try to ignore that because again, enneagram three). It is hard for me to sit and be still. It’s also imperative. So I try. And I give myself the grace to fail. Like a few days ago when I was well on my way into a deep meditative state, but got interrupted by an unruly puppy or when I fall asleep mid prayer which happens more often than I care to admit. But I try and there is grace for that.
Another question for you:
Do you know your purpose but aren’t acting on it?
Hi, I’m Sarah, and I am very guilty of this one.
It’s hard, isn’t it? To know what your purpose is, but then be bold enough to follow through? We don’t have to follow through. We get to make that choice. We get to decide if we stay where we are, stewing and plotting and planning, but not actually taking action towards what we’re supposed to be doing.
For example, God has been pushing me to start a podcast for more than two years now. Two years! I used an Amazon gift card I received for Christmas in 2019 to buy a microphone and when we went into lockdown in March 2020, I thought to myself “this is the perfect time!” It is now April 2022 and I still have no podcast…
We can’t move forward if we’re standing in place, can we?
The thing with purpose – true purpose – is that the call on your life doesn’t go away. It will get louder and more insistent as time passes, even if we’re just hanging out, treading water, not moving left, right, or forward, but also not moving backwards. That nudge will grow to a bump which will turn into a push and then you may find yourself free fallin over an edge. You won’t be able to ignore it forever.
I believe we each have a purpose. I think most of us believe that, deep down. I believe we were all put here to serve, not to be served, and that because of that, we each have a purpose. Some of us have the purpose of being a wife or a mother. Some of us are put here to steward large corporations. Some of us are put here to tell stories meant to inspire someone else.
If you’re asking yourself “what is my purpose?” know you aren’t alone. Allow yourself time to be still and to listen if you’re searching. And remember, being still doesn’t mean you have to sit in a dark room on a meditation pillow and wait for answers. Being still can be going for a walk or taking a long shower or doing a yoga video in your bedroom.
And think about that thing you do in your free time or that you’re doing when you should be doing something else. I’m very guilty of writing when I should be working on a work project or doing a homework assignment. I bet you’re guilty of something like that, too.
You have a purpose. Be sure of that.
You will find it. Promise.