Are you trustworthy?
You’re probably thinking “yeah, yeah I am!” You’re also probably thinking I mean trustworthy in the traditional sense. When someone tells you a secret, you keep it. If someone entrusts you with an important errand, you see it through. When you tell someone you’re going to do something, you do it.
But are you trustworthy to yourself?
I ask myself this question often. Am I making decisions that are good for me? That prioritize my well-being? Decisions that are getting me closer to my goals? Are my habits aligning me with where I want to go or getting me further away from the destination?
A simple example.
You’ve decided you aren’t going to drink for the month. Maybe you feel you need to “dry out” a bit or perhaps it’s for your health or maybe you’re trying to save a few dollars. No matter what the why is, you have committed to a month of no alcohol.
Then you go out with your friends. They are having drinks, raising a toast, maybe even ribbing you about the fact that you’re sipping club soda while they do shots. You feel the pressure to join in. You want to join in. You want to feel like a part of the group.
But you’re not drinking.
It would be easy to cave. It would be easy to rationalize “just one drink” or “just one night this month.” Yet you made a commitment to yourself. You have to decide: Am I trustworthy? Am I following through on a behavior/habit/action that is going to reflect the promises I’ve made myself and the person I want to be?
It’s about discipline.
It’s about doing the hard thing instead of the easy thing.
It’s about keeping your focus on whatever your goals and making the decisions – having the discipline – that will move you closer to them.
It’s about being trustworthy.
Take some time right now – five minutes or thirty, doesn’t matter – and ask yourself:
Are you being trustworthy?
Or are you self-sabotaging?
Are you trying to build your side hustle but keep putting off starting that newsletter or building that landing page one more night because you’re tired?
Did you skip a workout (again) because it was a long day at the office, even though you committed to getting healthier?
Are you determined to publish a manuscript, but you find an excuse to put off your query letter one more night? (Hi, it’s me… 😬)
You’re not being trustworthy to yourself.
And you are what matters most.
Check in with yourself often. Ask yourself if you are being trustworthy on a regular basis. I wrote Are you being trustworthy? on a sticky note and posted it next to my monitor where I see it each day. It has taken some practice, but I’ve developed the habit of asking myself if I’m being trustworthy throughout the day, if I’m choosing habits and making decisions that align with the promises I’ve made to myself and the person I want to be. If the answer is “no,” I course correct.
I choose the hard option (like writing a very rough draft of my query letter) instead of the easy option (sitting on the couch watching TV).
Am I trustworthy? is a big question. It is also an important question that will shed light on if you’re prioritizing you and your well-being.
Be trustworthy to yourself, my friend.
You are the best resource you have.