I’ve approached 2019 with arms wide open. There’s something about this year and the season I’m in that has me throwing caution to the wind (mostly) and going after it, whatever after “it” is. For all my talk about not being a big resolution maker, I sure have hit the (incredibly soggy – please, North Carolina, enough with the rain) ground running.
Over the last year or so, I’ve become a lot more cognizant about what matters. I started to say “no” a lot. No to things I didn’t want to do. No to things that no longer served me. No to people that no longer added value to my life. And you know what? I’m better for it.
As we walk into this new year, I’ve seen a lot of “what are you leaving behind?” type of posts. I know what I’m leaving behind, and you may, too. But allow me to suggest a few more things. Grab your best Sandra Bullock blindfold and leave these 9 things in 2019.
I have an uncle that asks why I don’t have “a whole bunch of babies” every chance he gets. His expectations – that I should have a bunch of kids and/or be married to their father – don’t change my expectations of myself, or the knowledge that I’ll get to that point one of these days. Maybe you have false expectations projected onto you, too. A friend’s success makes you think you should be farther up the career ladder. Maybe you have a relative that leads you to believe you should own a mansion instead of renting your posh downtown apartment you worked your ass off for. Let go of those expectations. If they aren’t expectations you have set for yourself, they don’t matter. You’re the one that has to look at yourself in the mirror every morning – be able to look back at that reflection as your own woman, and not the one people expect you to be.
I know you’ve heard the saying “opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.” That saying has never been more true than it is now. At any given time, people I don’t know are telling me how to run my business, how to wear my hair, or how to get my dog to chill when I post a story of him going on all on his squeak toy at 1 AM. I pay them no mind and neither should you. If you didn’t ask for an opinion, you don’t have to give it space. Sticks and stones. Easier said than done, but if you keep flexing the “let it roll off my back” muscle, it will become stronger, making it easier to let those unsolicited opinions fly right on by.
If he doesn’t give you what your heart needs, move on. If he keeps stringing you along, move on. If he makes you cry or makes you question everything more often than not, move. on. That goes for your girlfriends, too. If she’s not building you up, cheering you on, or fixing your crown, do you really need her in your life? Same with family members. Same with the accounts you follow on social media. If they’re not filling your heart with joy, it’s time to evaluate how much space you’re willing to let them take up.
You need food to fuel your body. As women, when we commit to losing weight, we tend to drastically slash our caloric intake. But when you’re working out several times a week and living life, you’ve got to eat. I’m not saying swing through the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru every single morning, but go ahead and eat the whole egg instead of just the whites. Have a glass of wine or a serving of chocolate at night if you want it. Your body works really hard for you, all day, every day. You put gas in your car when you’re nearing empty. Do the same for your body.
I’ve done it, too – signed up for a membership for this monthly subscription box or that great app and never used it. Take a half hour to audit your memberships. Are you paying for Netflix AND Hulu AND Amazon Prime, but never using Hulu? Cancel it. Getting monthly membership boxes and not really using the products? Cancel. It can take some legwork – have you ever tried to cancel a Fabletics subscription? – but when you add up how much money you save monthly, it will be worth it.
I love Apple’s new screen time report. Every Sunday morning, I get pinged with
On New Year’s Day, I spent some time unsubscribing to emails. I used Unroll
I’m willing to bet you have something you’re incredibly passionate about. Maybe you have something you want to do, but you just don’t think you can. You think things like “someone else is already doing it better” or “I’m not qualified enough.” Leave that kind of thinking in 2018, and know I’m right there with you trying to get over my own fears and hesitations about this whole online personal trainer thing I’ve got going on.
I burned out hard at the end of 2018. I was teaching eight barre classes a week, working full-time, doing as much as I could to market the studio while actually running the studio, and for my own sanity, getting into the gym 4-5 times a week. I was also trying to get my personal training programs off the ground and failing spectacularly because there was just not enough hours in the day. The last six or so weeks of the year were a marathon of one foot in front of the other, little sleep, and emotional breakdowns. I had to change something. I cut back on my teaching schedule for the new year, giving myself weekends as well as one weekday off. I’ve made space in my schedule for me, the things I love, and to simply get into bed earlier. Take a hard look at what you’re doing and then prioritize only the “things” that are important to you. If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.
Tell me – what are you leaving behind in 2019?