Yesterday was one of those days.
I had a fat day.
It didn’t start off as a fat day. I went to my 6am training session and had a great workout. I bested my 135×3 concentric squat from last week with 140×5 this week. I did damn the rain for waiting until after I’d ran a bit and lunged up a hill carrying 17.5lb dumbbells in either hand to start falling, but it was otherwise a great morning with some of my favorite people.
But then, something shifted. I don’t know when or what or how, but I sunk into a funk.
There were a few things working against me, I suppose. It was Monday and pouring down rain. No one likes a rainy Monday. I have a new roommate and with that, a slightly different morning routine. I ate the second half of a pint of Halo Top ice cream the night before and no matter how “healthy” that stuff is, there’s something in it that causes my stomach to balloon. To top it off, my body was tired and sore ready for Tuesday’s rest day.
I chose a dress and boots because the dress was comfortable and the boots would keep my feet dry. I stomped through the rain to work, trying to remember the last time I had to walk in the rain – last month in Edinburgh is the answer. It’s been rather dry around here. Besides, there’s a big difference between walking in the rain in downtown Charlottesville and walking in the rain in Edinburgh. There aren’t any castles here.
Maybe it was the rain or maybe it was the Halo Top hangover, but as the day progressed, I just felt funkier. Despite my body telling me to chill, I went to barre at noon. While it wasn’t my worst workout, it wasn’t my best one. We used the bands, a piece of equipment I normally love, and I hated them. Mine kept rolling into itself on my legs, my shoulders weren’t playing along, and I could feel my left hamstring knotting up, so much so that I ditched the bands.
It was just a funky day. A day of looking in the mirror and seeing a fat person instead of seeing the girl who did five 140lb concentric squats before 7AM.
Rationally, I knew I was being ridiculous, which just made me more annoyed with myself. When I eat things that don’t agree with my body, my stomach reacts by becoming an inflatable pool toy. When my body needs a break, it needs a break. A day or two of clean foods and lots of water and a rest day was all that was needed. That, and some quiet time at home to decompress and read Game of Thrones. The fact that I was annoyed just annoyed me more.
Yesterday wasn’t my best showing.
Today is a much better day. I slept a full 8 hours last night, had a good breakfast, and took a full rest day from working out. I like my outfit, my makeup and hair cooperated – it’s a good day.
Yesterday’s “fat day” wasn’t fun. It wasn’t fun to forget how far I’ve come and dwell on feeling crummy. So much in life is about our attitude – it’s either an adventure or an ordeal. I didn’t choose well yesterday, but I chose better today.
Fat days happen. Bad days happen. Rainy Mondays happen.
Choose whether they are an adventure or an ordeal.